did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
