You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize