I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i came on her dog
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
