It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
