The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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