your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
