I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
