Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
The Olympian is in my bed
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
