Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
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