Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
