these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Couch. On fire.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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