if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
