I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
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I wish you could order shots online.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
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I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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