Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
