My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I forget how to act sober
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
