What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
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I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
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i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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