Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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