I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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