Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
