I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Barsexuality is the new black.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
