I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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