I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
