Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
