If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
