i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
