its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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