South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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