dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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