forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
are you so shy because you have an std?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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