He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
