Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
