i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
