just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
