super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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