So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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