I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
