Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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