I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
How does one acquire holy water?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
