thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
