i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
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