hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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