It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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