I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
