just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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