a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
