Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
