smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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