she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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