fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
