The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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