If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
