Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
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