Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Randomize
