she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
