Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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