Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize