My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
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