I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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