I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
