She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
