I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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